Personal Blog. Books. Writing. Depression. Polyamory. Queer Ladies. And a lot of my own whining. I'm 100% willing to talk to anyone about anything. Just pop in my Ask box. Know that I'll probably respond privately.
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| J Writes 2013 | J Reads 2013 | Adventures with Chris and Jesse |
I swear every single day I’m like “I’m going to go to bed early” or “I’m going to nap today” and yet every night I end up staying up until like 11 or midnight. UGH.
also for making me really nervous about dragon age inquisition online. ALSDFAJSLDFJ MUST STAY OFF THE INTERNET IT IS FULL OF SCARY THINGS
thanks facebook for ruining tonight’s PLL finale for me
i’m sort of going through a major depressive episode/phase/cycle in the dysthymia pattern of hell and it makes very little sense. It’s one of those just…. suddenly sort of happening. I mean I can think of a dozen little things (work is ending up more stressful than I thought it would be, less time with chris, IT’S HOT AS FUCK [i get more depressed in summer cause im so fucking miserable and anything involving going outside feels 9000x more overwhelming than it should], etc.) but nothing that warrants this level of intensity idk. I feel like I need to see a counsellor and researched some on this website that lists therapists who have affordable pricing options….. and found a lot of overly christian therapists and even one woman who helps with “sexual identity issues” *RUNS AWAY*.
There is so much good in my life right now and yet I’m sitting here thinking “god i want to die, god i want to die, god i want to die” over and over like compulsively even though I’m trying to distract myself by working on Vitality and just nyeh. I think my job is so stressful because when I screw up I don’t think “oh I’m being trained and still learning” I think “THEY’RE GOING TO FIRE ME BECAUSE I AM A PIECE OF SHIT WHO CAN’T DO ANYTHING AND ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS AT MY WORK ARE SEEING HOW TERRIBLE I AM AT EVERYTHING AND I WANT TO GO HOME AND CRY” so meh
If you feel like helping but dunno how, recommend stuff for me to read in the evenings when chris leaves and depression hits hardest. Fun manga cheers me up so send me recommendations, or recs for fanfic/original stories on wattpad or fictionpress that are amazing and NOT ANGSTY. I like f/f, m/f, but not m/m unless it’s cherik (xmen first class) or mavin (rooster teeth). Kinda not feeling doctor who lately (eek) but other fandoms (dragon age, pretty little liars, elementary, most YA novels, anything with the girl elf/her cute hobbit bf from the hobbit movie that don’t spoil the book/movie, Soulless by Gail Carriger, X-men [movies, never read the comics], lost girl, pushing daisies, basically anything you’ve seen me reblog - is GREAT!) I like sexual tension and silliness and full action/adventure stories that read like episodes of the show. I’ve been binge-reading manga so fast that I always need new suggestions u_u;; (currently reading Jellyfish Princess and Seiyuu-Ka) Oh and I appreciate k-dramas a lot especially romantic comedies. I have netflix so. :P but i don’t watch so much as read because reading is more distracting. i can zone out during a show and get depressed. Please no books as I have plenty and I’m kind of in a book slump right now bleh.
YOU KNOW HOW HOT IT IS OUTSIDE???? SO HOT, I SHAVED SO I CAN WEAR A SKIRT INSTEAD OF JEANS. THAT’S HOW HOT.